The terms of that order are no contact.That doesn't just mean you're not allowed to contact her. It means she's claiming to be so afraid of you that she had to ask the state to intervene and make you stay away from her. It means she's claiming that contact with you is dangerous... which in turn means she should by all rights be averse to initiating contact with you. That she is doing so contradicts the claims on which the order is based.
If she contacts you, that can be seen by the state as an admission that she lied to get that restraining order. It's very hard to get an order removed, but proving that the holder of the order is violating it is one way. Once an order is permanent, upheld by a judge, you need evidence in order to even contest it. Attempts by the holder to contact you are the kind of evidence you need.
Sometimes an individual who has a restraining order has obtained it for the purpose of using it as a weapon in custody and property disputes, or simply as a weapon of abuse. If your ex is trying to contact you in ways that feel like an ambush, that might be what she is doing.
Protect yourself by documenting, keeping in contact with your attorney, and when possible, contesting the order in court on the basis of her continued attempts to contact you.
I've written a more detailed description of restraining order abuse and how to protect yourself in earlier entries in this blog.
Restraining order abuse and vexatious litigation
There are 4 pages to this. The page on documenting yourself as a means of self-defense against an ex using a restraining order as a weapon is the third page, titled "A Temporary Restraining Order Has Been Filed Against Me. What Should I Do?" If you are the subject of a permanent (whether long-term or just 5 years, as some states do) order, and the order's holder is trying to contact you, follow those methods to catch her in the act, but add to them documentation of your deliberate, meticulous avoidance of her. Show that you are going out of your way to not be places where she would go. This will be hard - you may have to live almost like a prisoner for a while, but if it helps you to demonstrate that she's the one trying to violate the order, it may pay off by helping you clear your name.
If your ex contacts you by any means of electronic or telecommunication, let your voice mail or other answering program pick up for you, and record it.